Member-only story
Why I Am Trying to Lose More Often
Failure and losing are deemed to be undesirable traits by our society. “Failure” and “loser” are even used as terms to put other people down.
But what if we stopped tying so much worth to one attempt? Instead, what if we decided to tie worth to the number of attempts?
For some reason, the person who is able to solve a question in one try is more impressive than the person who takes ten tries to solve it. But I disagree. Being naturally smart without the ability to fail is a recipe for disaster.
And as a burnt-out, ex-gifted kid, I know this story all too well.
I used to take pride in being able to be the first one to solve a question or to get the question right on the first try. And while it does feel good to be able to do these things, it cost me.
As a result, I never trained a much more important muscle in my brain: the ability to lose and try again.
I had built up this fear of failure and fear of looking stupid to the point where it had become an intimidating monster. And this monster prevented me from trying new things if I could not guarantee success.
But this is such a silly way of thinking. Of course I can’t guarantee success…
