Member-only story
“The goal is to lead them to trust their own instincts.”
Disclaimer: This article was written for helping loved ones who are in tough or potentially dangerous situations. Please do not try to change everybody’s mind. Everybody is an individual entity, and nobody needs to conform to your version of reality.
Trying to change someone else’s mind is one of the most difficult things to do. The reason for this is in the phrase itself.
You are trying to change somebody else’s mind.
As human beings, we only have control over what we say and do. You can only successfully change your own mind.
However, it’s understandable to want the best for the people we care about. In the case of a friend staying in an abusive relationship or giving up on their health, it can be frustrating to stand aside.
More often than not, people have a gut feeling that tells them when something is not right.
Your friend with the toxic boyfriend probably knows on some level that he isn’t the love of her life, but because everyone is telling her to leave him, she’s rationalizing all the reasons to stay. Your friend whose unhealthy diet is creating health problems knows that he has to start working out, but there is a mental barrier in the way.
